








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1020 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9757 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 367 | 2% |
| Smokes | 8935 | 54% |
| HE Grenades | 2852 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4450 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,657,769 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wa(n)mIÉRT ÉN 1M | 56% | 82 |
| #2 | Csacsa99 | 52% | 278 |
| #3 | Bilboka | 50% | 374 |
| #4 | Muller | 50% | 445 |
| #5 | W ii L d .- | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tibi fuckin' atya | 15 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | BoBrRr KuRwAaAa | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Bilboka | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Csacsa99 | 12 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Muller | 9 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Csacsa99 | 554 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #2 | Tibi fuckin' atya | 341 | 0.02 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bilboka | 303 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #4 | Purge | 200 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | BoBrRr KuRwAaAa | 134 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wa(n)mIÉRT ÉN 1M | +3.44 | 60 | 32 |
| #2 | mIÉRT ÉN 1M+ | +2.59 | 50 | 34 |
| #3 | Purge | +2.01 | 71 | 57 |
| #4 | Muller | +1.00 | 52 | 36 |
| #5 | Bilboka | +0.96 | 64 | 58 |





