








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
470 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 490 | 27% |
| Smokes | 561 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 460 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 298 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,887 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeamerAT5 | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Eddie Irvine | 47% | 57 |
| #3 | Poperze | 46% | 65 |
| #4 | 2 | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | Burtz | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeamerAT5 | 50% | 6 |
| #2 | Eddie Irvine | 47% | 57 |
| #3 | Poperze | 46% | 65 |
| #4 | 2 | 45% | 66 |
| #5 | Burtz | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poperze | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | 2 | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Eddie Irvine | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2 | 171 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Poperze | 76 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Eddie Irvine | 24 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Burtz | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | BeamerAT5 | 13 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poperze | +2.93 | 51 | 59 |
| #2 | BeamerAT5 | -0.11 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | 2 | -0.28 | 66 | 70 |
| #4 | Eddie Irvine | -1.31 | 58 | 54 |
| #5 | TaskeT | -1.93 | 49 | 59 |





