








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 677 | 24% |
| Smokes | 512 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 753 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 844 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $767,032 of utility $236 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 232 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gürke | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | C-Kyle | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | Rxyzr | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | HNL MrDeluXe | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | CptKreiosXUwU | 53% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Rxyzr | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | HNL MrDeluXe | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | CptKreiosXUwU | 53% | 70 |
| #6 | Dönatello | 50% | 10 |
| #7 | Longs drückt ab und zu | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CptKreiosXUwU | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Gürke | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Longs drückt ab und zu | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CptKreiosXUwU | 61 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | Longs drückt ab und zu | 57 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| #3 | Rxyzr | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Gürke | 29 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | C-Kyle | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dönatello | +5.19 | 92 | 49 |
| #2 | HNL MrDeluXe | +2.18 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | staudti | +1.81 | 73 | 49 |
| #4 | CptKreiosXUwU | +0.87 | 85 | 54 |
| #5 | Rxyzr | +0.73 | 71 | 45 |





