








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 392 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 377 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4256 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4299 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4265 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4139 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,079,921 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 567 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mox | 53% | 123 |
| #2 | maRky | 53% | 179 |
| #3 | Mackan | 48% | 111 |
| #4 | Elina | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | stv | 46% | 274 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Pand4^ | 44% | 89 |
| #9 | sodeer | 44% | 48 |
| #10 | Storren | 42% | 76 |
| #11 | KaraCheez | 40% | 45 |
| #12 | nso | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stv | 5 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Mackan | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | maRky | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | mox | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | zaewta👻 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zaewta👻 | 477 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #2 | maRky | 470 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Mackan | 461 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #4 | stv | 380 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #5 | mox | 352 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mackan | +4.74 | 89 | 73 |
| #2 | Pand4^ | +2.84 | 79 | 79 |
| #3 | Nkish ;> | +1.64 | 82 | 70 |
| #4 | zaewta👻 | +1.35 | 77 | 70 |
| #5 | mox | +1.02 | 53 | 69 |





