








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2782 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,253 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3957 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4036 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2243 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2017 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,431 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AFROGODxDツ | 75% | 36 |
| #2 | ♆ ρ υ Ͳ α Ͳ υ 4.0 ॐ | 63% | 41 |
| #3 | Providence | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | ♆ ρυͲαͲυ 1.0 ॐ | 56% | 64 |
| #5 | ♆ λℓU ॐ | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speedy 09 | 8 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | FATAL | Dota only | 7 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | RAZDA | 7 | 0.0149 |
| #4 | ♆ ρυͲαͲυ 1.0 ॐ | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | DEADPOOL | 5 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Speedy 09 | 208 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #2 | DEADPOOL | 163 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #3 | MrGoNeCaSe | 153 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #4 | WOLVERINE | 141 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | 🌹✂ρυㄒαㄒυ 2.0⭕✂ | 133 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AFROGODxDツ | +4.47 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | RAZDA | +4.10 | 61 | 67 |
| #3 | Speedy 09 | +4.05 | 60 | 72 |
| #4 | DEADPOOL | +3.56 | 60 | 68 |
| #5 | 🌹✂ρυㄒαㄒυ 2.0⭕✂ | +3.40 | 72 | 57 |





