








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 82 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
459 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 72 | 22% |
| Smokes | 60 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 121 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 69 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,009 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Mr. Red | 33% | 3 |
| #7 | Kovács Levente Lajos | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | clappy | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | haylocs | 29% | 24 |
| #10 | Flópa | 28% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flópa | 20 | 0.0406 |
| #2 | haylocs | 9 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | Balkan Alcoholic | 3 | 0.0556 |
| #4 | clappy | 2 | 0.0175 |
| #5 | hagym♿ | 2 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haylocs | 49 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | Balkan Alcoholic | 9 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #3 | clappy | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | Mr. Red | 4 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Kovács Levente Lajos | 4 | 0.06 | 0 min |





