








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 560 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,291 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1032 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 842 | 28% |
| Smokes | 534 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 990 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 613 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $824,416 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8qvm | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Lampbert | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | abdul | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | 𒌐guts𒌐 | 53% | 79 |
| #5 | Lingling | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | abdul | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | 𒌐guts𒌐 | 53% | 79 |
| #5 | Lingling | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | Aleksandr Akimov | 42% | 118 |
| #7 | Vgg0 | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vgg0 | 16 | 0.0195 |
| #2 | Lampbert | 10 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | Aleksandr Akimov | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | 𒌐guts𒌐 | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | abdul | 5 | 0.0236 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksandr Akimov | 350 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #2 | Vgg0 | 124 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Lampbert | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | 𒌐guts𒌐 | 17 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | 8qvm | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampbert | +6.31 | 65 | 53 |
| #2 | 𒌐guts𒌐 | +2.63 | 58 | 14 |
| #3 | abdul | +2.14 | 51 | 15 |
| #4 | Vgg0 | +2.01 | 60 | 45 |
| #5 | 8qvm | +1.27 | 37 | 29 |





