








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 97 | 6% |
| Smokes | 182 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 728 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 669 | 40% |
Our logs show you have wasted $849,855 of utility $299 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 787 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampbert | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Vgg0 | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | emil_e | 53% | 79 |
| #4 | Aleksandr Akimov | 51% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampbert | 69% | 36 |
| #2 | Vgg0 | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | emil_e | 53% | 79 |
| #4 | Aleksandr Akimov | 51% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vgg0 | 12 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | Lampbert | 8 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | Aleksandr Akimov | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | emil_e | 7 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aleksandr Akimov | 222 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | emil_e | 162 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | Vgg0 | 131 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lampbert | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lampbert | +2.83 | 58 | 42 |
| #2 | 𒌐guts𒌐 | +2.75 | 60 | 19 |
| #3 | Vgg0 | +0.05 | 53 | 49 |
| #4 | emil_e | -3.26 | 19 | 35 |
| #5 | Aleksandr Akimov | -3.76 | 16 | 51 |





