








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2592 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1868 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2203 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1845 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1191 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,126,439 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steelworm | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Steelworm | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | crazy Horst | 59% | 22 |
| #4 | SANYTOL | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Panigale# | 55% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | yogz | 46% | 152 |
| #13 | Undergrounder22 | 45% | 121 |
| #14 | John Silver | 42% | 36 |
| #15 | general47 | 38% | 16 |
| #16 | Istado | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yogz | 305 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | PesTiB0Y | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Undergrounder22 | 124 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Chilli | 100 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | John Silver | 68 | 0.09 | 2 min |





