








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank |
|---|
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
62 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 46 | 18% |
| Smokes | 74 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 71 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 60 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $23,875 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mike-quil | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Fishcake | 80% | 5 |
| #4 | Dixter | 17% | 6 |
| #5 | Alex | 17% | 6 |
| #6 | No Aim Dude | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishcake | 2 | 0.0194 |
| #2 | Dixter | 1 | 0.0073 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dixter | 20 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Fishcake | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #3 | Alex | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | No Aim Dude | 8 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #5 | Mike-quil | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishcake | +3.74 | 69 | 56 |
| #2 | Mike-quil | +3.32 | 69 | 39 |
| #3 | No Aim Dude | +0.23 | 68 | 59 |
| #4 | Scout Jesus | -0.59 | 50 | 43 |
| #5 | Dixter | -0.97 | 77 | 73 |





