








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 194 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4231 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3070 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2717 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2631 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,193 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minnii | 90% | 21 |
| #2 | rem1cks | 90% | 20 |
| #3 | no motion | 82% | 17 |
| #4 | helix | 79% | 84 |
| #5 | Crunchy | 75% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no motion | 4 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | rem1cks | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | helix | 254 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | Kiyo | 95 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | minnii | 93 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #4 | rem1cks | 56 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Crunchy | 51 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Complex | +5.46 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | helix | +4.16 | 97 | 60 |
| #3 | Crunchy | +2.93 | 96 | 74 |
| #4 | minnii | +2.32 | 83 | 66 |
| #5 | rem1cks | -0.55 | 83 | 70 |





