








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2448 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1100 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1969 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 965 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 930 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,129,852 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 339 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TBSNokk | 15 | 0.0149 |
| #2 | Silvio Dante | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | ♰ bxckpxck | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | That One Guy Named Thomas | 7 | 0.0082 |
| #5 | Darrell | 3 | 0.0046 |





