








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 275 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,932 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1054 | 21% |
| Smokes | 965 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1417 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1496 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,204,310 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 830 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | TBSNokk | 49% | 49 |
| #5 | Toxic | 49% | 158 |
| #6 | Darrell | 43% | 51 |
| #7 | Silvio Dante | 40% | 50 |
| #8 | Parodoxx | 21% | 43 |





