








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 468 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3770 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2344 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1962 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1642 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2167 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,111,606 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jets Pizza | 60% | 60 |
| #2 | BIGGESTHONK | 49% | 429 |
| #3 | Suncruiser | 49% | 94 |
| #4 | gleamify | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jets Pizza | 60% | 60 |
| #2 | BIGGESTHONK | 49% | 429 |
| #3 | Suncruiser | 49% | 94 |
| #4 | gleamify | 37% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BIGGESTHONK | 23 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | gleamify | 12 | 0.0226 |
| #3 | Suncruiser | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Jets Pizza | 7 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suncruiser | 471 | 0.25 | 13 min |
| #2 | BIGGESTHONK | 409 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jets Pizza | 327 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #4 | gleamify | 124 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suncruiser | +5.86 | 79 | 72 |
| #2 | gleamify | +2.64 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | Big Show | +1.25 | 61 | 47 |
| #4 | Jets Pizza | +0.78 | 70 | 54 |
| #5 | BIGGESTHONK | -3.82 | 51 | 29 |





