








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 690 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4983 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1346 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 3113 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1554 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $633,821 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 362 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eXample | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | BIGGESTHONK | 62% | 145 |
| #3 | Big Show | 60% | 60 |
| #4 | tony guapo | 56% | 88 |
| #5 | Float | 55% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gleamify | 29 | 0.0229 |
| #2 | Suncruiser | 24 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Float | 24 | 0.0159 |
| #4 | BIGGESTHONK | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | shwerd | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suncruiser | 862 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | tony guapo | 399 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | Float | 343 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | gleamify | 244 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #5 | shwerd | 150 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Suncruiser | +3.58 | 74 | 70 |
| #2 | tony guapo | +1.87 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | Liam :) | +0.81 | 62 | 44 |
| #4 | gleamify | +0.73 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | shwerd | +0.71 | 56 | 55 |





