








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2170 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1489 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1321 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 900 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 553 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $830,427 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HRP newborn | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | fleurbb | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | PRESTO | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | ✪ Bizness | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HRP newborn | 68% | 22 |
| #2 | fleurbb | 58% | 38 |
| #3 | PRESTO | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | ✪ Bizness | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fleurbb | 8 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | HRP newborn | 1 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | PRESTO | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | ✪ Bizness | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fleurbb | 177 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | PRESTO | 88 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ Bizness | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | HRP newborn | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PRESTO | +2.93 | 63 | 73 |
| #2 | xZeqraa | +2.30 | 85 | 46 |
| #3 | fleurbb | +2.00 | 86 | 55 |
| #4 | ✪ Bizness | -0.22 | 59 | 74 |
| #5 | HRP newborn | -0.72 | 66 | 42 |





