








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1027 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,912 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 623 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1013 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 677 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $154,275 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 163 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pir | 89% | 19 |
| #2 | aloe | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | POLNiNiO | 87% | 15 |
| #4 | UltraMarine | 86% | 7 |
| #5 | samey | 78% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | :) | 67% | 9 |
| #11 | KhanCzesio | 63% | 8 |
| #12 | AdeX KEYDROP CASEDROP.GG | 63% | 8 |
| #13 | boczk | 50% | 6 |
| #14 | relaxbtw | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pir | 10 | 0.0279 |
| #2 | bneog | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | POLNiNiO | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | relaxbtw | 55 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | KhanCzesio | 38 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | bneog | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | pir | 23 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | samey | 23 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samey | +4.78 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | Kamoesik | +3.78 | 87 | 65 |
| #3 | :) | +1.95 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | AdeX KEYDROP CASEDROP.GG | +1.68 | 87 | 51 |
| #5 | Eskyy fc? | +1.32 | 83 | 73 |





