








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 242 | 13% |
| Smokes | 421 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 636 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 510 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $461,486 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 767 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jay | 68% | 63 |
| #2 | Shinsnyper | 68% | 65 |
| #3 | Busterdrools | 67% | 61 |
| #4 | Epic | 67% | 18 |
| #5 | Zach | 67% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ♛Geesus♛ | 64% | 36 |
| #7 | arch | 63% | 67 |
| #8 | sw | 61% | 23 |
| #9 | EliteEthan117 | 59% | 34 |
| #10 | Randillion | 56% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shinsnyper | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Jay | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | arch | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | ♛Geesus♛ | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Busterdrools | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EliteEthan117 | 164 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Shinsnyper | 101 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | sw | 98 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Randillion | 94 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zach | 84 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Epic | +2.75 | 89 | 48 |
| #2 | honk | +2.31 | 93 | 20 |
| #3 | ♛Geesus♛ | +2.22 | 95 | 63 |
| #4 | Jay | +2.02 | 91 | 27 |
| #5 | arch | +1.94 | 83 | 46 |





