








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,029 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 454 | 44% |
| Smokes | 426 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 74 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 75 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $23,008 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kulshedra | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | ✪ xonark | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | joeyy | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | MooMooKooKoo | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kulshedra | 75% | 8 |
| #2 | ✪ xonark | 71% | 14 |
| #3 | joeyy | 38% | 8 |
| #4 | MooMooKooKoo | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ xonark | 6 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | MooMooKooKoo | 5 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | joeyy | 3 | 0.0197 |
| #4 | Kulshedra | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MooMooKooKoo | 75 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kulshedra | 36 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪ xonark | 27 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #4 | joeyy | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kulshedra | +6.10 | 59 | 68 |
| #2 | ✪ xonark | +4.32 | 88 | 47 |
| #3 | joeyy | +3.38 | 78 | 39 |
| #4 | Twister | -4.10 | 21 | 46 |
| #5 | MooMooKooKoo | -4.27 | 27 | 45 |





