








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 730 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,602 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3496 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3689 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4697 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3720 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,932,597 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp. | 51% | 92 |
| #2 | AFTERLIFE- | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | odysi- | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp. | 51% | 92 |
| #2 | AFTERLIFE- | 51% | 83 |
| #3 | odysi- | 49% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp. | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | odysi- | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | AFTERLIFE- | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simp. | 419 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | odysi- | 257 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | AFTERLIFE- | 162 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AFTERLIFE- | +2.64 | 85 | 41 |
| #2 | odysi- | +1.54 | 71 | 76 |
| #3 | Simp. | +0.42 | 74 | 62 |
| #4 | Stuntbum | -1.68 | 46 | 51 |





