








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 466 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,286 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8581 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7084 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4211 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5410 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,437,746 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 612 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -FMJ- | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | AFTERLIFE- | 49% | 206 |
| #3 | Stuntbum | 49% | 70 |
| #4 | Simp. | 41% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -FMJ- | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | AFTERLIFE- | 49% | 206 |
| #3 | Stuntbum | 49% | 70 |
| #4 | Simp. | 41% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AFTERLIFE- | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | Stuntbum | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Simp. | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | -FMJ- | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AFTERLIFE- | 352 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Simp. | 279 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | -FMJ- | 111 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Stuntbum | 108 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AFTERLIFE- | +1.52 | 83 | 44 |
| #2 | -FMJ- | +0.55 | 71 | 52 |
| #3 | odysi- | +0.33 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | Simp. | -0.21 | 76 | 63 |
| #5 | Stuntbum | -1.26 | 55 | 56 |





