








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 426 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,982 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3716 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3631 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2549 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3086 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,448,467 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 977 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NERO | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | *★,°*:. jones | 55% | 126 |
| #3 | Bu$HIdo | 49% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NERO | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | *★,°*:. jones | 55% | 126 |
| #3 | Bu$HIdo | 49% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bu$HIdo | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | *★,°*:. jones | 8 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | NERO | 6 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bu$HIdo | 564 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #2 | *★,°*:. jones | 223 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | NERO | 150 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sewzu | +1.50 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | NERO | +0.23 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | Bu$HIdo | +0.21 | 80 | 72 |
| #4 | *★,°*:. jones | -0.39 | 76 | 53 |





