








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 159 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 82 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2111 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1385 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1236 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1356 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $342,307 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 421 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sewzu | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | any | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Bu$HIdo | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | $EYED | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sewzu | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | any | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Bu$HIdo | 44% | 27 |
| #4 | $EYED | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sewzu | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Bu$HIdo | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | $EYED | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sewzu | 122 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Bu$HIdo | 92 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | $EYED | 42 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #4 | any | 18 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NERO | +1.24 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | sewzu | +1.13 | 86 | 51 |
| #3 | any | +0.16 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | Bu$HIdo | +0.15 | 76 | 73 |
| #5 | $EYED | -0.08 | 75 | 73 |





