








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4593 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3492 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1784 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2235 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,017,514 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Cuck Boris | 47% | 19 |
| #7 | PiesangBrood | 47% | 73 |
| #8 | Slet Muis | 46% | 28 |
| #9 | Nola_Se_Friend | 42% | 76 |
| #10 | tonka truck enthusiast | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trappe vv | +2.60 | 64 | 80 |
| #2 | NetFlicks (old RGB lights) | +1.71 | 51 | 76 |
| #3 | Malawian mik | +1.38 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | tonka truck enthusiast | +1.31 | 66 | 66 |
| #5 | Slet Muis | +0.07 | 55 | 51 |





