








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1006 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1869 | 46% |
| Smokes | 730 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 759 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 689 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $244,738 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NetFlicks (old RGB lights) | 58% | 48 |
| #2 | trappe vv | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Malawian mik | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Slick. | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Nola_Se_Friend | 50% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | trappe vv | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Malawian mik | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Slick. | 51% | 68 |
| #5 | Nola_Se_Friend | 50% | 34 |
| #6 | tonka truck enthusiast | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NetFlicks (old RGB lights) | 11 | 0.0111 |
| #2 | Slick. | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Malawian mik | 7 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | trappe vv | 6 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | Nola_Se_Friend | 5 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NetFlicks (old RGB lights) | 143 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | trappe vv | 121 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Malawian mik | 111 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | Nola_Se_Friend | 72 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Slick. | 65 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | trappe vv | +1.98 | 68 | 77 |
| #2 | Malawian mik | +1.13 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | NetFlicks (old RGB lights) | +0.90 | 52 | 75 |
| #4 | DeadlyMan41 | +0.08 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | Nola_Se_Friend | -0.25 | 38 | 52 |





