








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 755 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Faceit | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 92 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,626 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3627 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4557 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3217 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4225 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,188 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 463 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RustyYG | 91% | 23 |
| #2 | Consp1racy | 89% | 61 |
| #3 | ha | 86% | 69 |
| #4 | ✪ RIDGBAK | 83% | 30 |
| #5 | Beemo | 80% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | yellow flash | 79% | 24 |
| #7 | Kevin ™ | 79% | 33 |
| #8 | Shlong Connery | 67% | 95 |
| #9 | Slayer | 64% | 272 |
| #10 | lumen | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yellow flash | 17 | 0.0172 |
| #2 | ha | 15 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Slayer | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | lumen | 12 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | RustyYG | 6 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slayer | 887 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | Consp1racy | 252 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | lumen | 214 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | ha | 213 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | RustyYG | 186 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ader Titsoff | +4.77 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | RustyYG | +4.35 | 87 | 73 |
| #3 | Consp1racy | +4.18 | 89 | 68 |
| #4 | Beemo | +3.78 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | ha | +3.29 | 91 | 54 |





