








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 319 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,144 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4229 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4115 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3564 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3236 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $788,006 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ha | 90% | 82 |
| #2 | Kevin ™ | 90% | 20 |
| #3 | Ader Titsoff | 89% | 61 |
| #4 | wipeout | 88% | 114 |
| #5 | yellow flash | 87% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | zohN=) | 85% | 26 |
| #8 | Pietpomper | 83% | 23 |
| #9 | ✪ RIDGBAK | 82% | 45 |
| #10 | Dork | 82% | 118 |
| #11 | moose | 76% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dork | 60 | 0.0256 |
| #2 | wipeout | 33 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | fekwen | 19 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | ha | 17 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | yellow flash | 13 | 0.0243 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wipeout | 563 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | fekwen | 244 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | ha | 239 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Dork | 238 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ RIDGBAK | 129 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Consp1racy | +4.87 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | wipeout | +3.68 | 87 | 59 |
| #3 | Ader Titsoff | +3.39 | 91 | 65 |
| #4 | fekwen | +3.10 | 89 | 66 |
| #5 | ha | +2.82 | 90 | 55 |





