










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3021 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2923 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3121 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1273 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $564,881 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sagsnele | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | MrMisterXXL | 69% | 16 |
| #3 | [7ZwCl]eschek | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | sk1ndwolF | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | deca | 43% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sk1ndwolF | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | deca | 43% | 21 |
| #6 | Decoy | 42% | 79 |
| #7 | APE | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | p1mple | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decoy | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | deca | 4 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | p1mple | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | sagsnele | 2 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | [7ZwCl]eschek | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decoy | 237 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | p1mple | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | sk1ndwolF | 51 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | [7ZwCl]eschek | 36 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | sagsnele | 21 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sagsnele | +4.15 | 87 | 51 |
| #2 | p1mple | +3.51 | 63 | 62 |
| #3 | [7ZwCl]eschek | +2.20 | 78 | 56 |
| #4 | MrMisterXXL | +0.08 | 46 | 51 |
| #5 | R0llstuhlfahrer | -0.16 | 54 | 72 |





