








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2224 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2409 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2020 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1572 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,798 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 209 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suicide | 96% | 28 |
| #2 | zeN | 94% | 18 |
| #3 | pork-e | 94% | 18 |
| #4 | minty | 86% | 65 |
| #5 | screw | 85% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | minty | 86% | 65 |
| #5 | screw | 85% | 13 |
| #6 | Diablo | 83% | 24 |
| #7 | Desire. | 80% | 25 |
| #8 | stellar | 79% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | minty | 27 | 0.0222 |
| #2 | Desire. | 12 | 0.0270 |
| #3 | Diablo | 8 | 0.0193 |
| #4 | stellar | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | suicide | 4 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stellar | 192 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Desire. | 115 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #3 | minty | 83 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | screw | 58 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | zeN | 47 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeN | +5.93 | 94 | 73 |
| #2 | Diablo | +5.59 | 91 | 61 |
| #3 | stellar | +5.07 | 90 | 71 |
| #4 | suicide | +4.24 | 89 | 39 |
| #5 | ☆ | +3.92 | 93 | 61 |





