








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 691 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Wingman | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2605 | 27% |
| Smokes | 763 | 8% |
| HE Grenades | 3445 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3014 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $266,177 of utility $25 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2639 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AxSoNa ™ | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Scorpion | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | 1RFAM | SIEM | 49% | 149 |
| #4 | Mind | 38% | 69 |
| #5 | cheating is legal | 37% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Scorpion | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | 1RFAM | SIEM | 49% | 149 |
| #4 | Mind | 38% | 69 |
| #5 | cheating is legal | 37% | 134 |
| #6 | vorlie | 37% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cheating is legal | 13 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | 1RFAM | SIEM | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | vorlie | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | AxSoNa ™ | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Scorpion | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1RFAM | SIEM | 687 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #2 | cheating is legal | 305 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Scorpion | 96 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | vorlie | 73 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | AxSoNa ™ | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AxSoNa ™ | +6.57 | 80 | 53 |
| #2 | cheating is legal | +6.49 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | Scorpion | +3.82 | 42 | 55 |
| #4 | vorlie | -0.08 | 60 | 38 |
| #5 | Mind | -0.23 | 44 | 43 |





