










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 824 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4638 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,387 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3395 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3464 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3744 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3784 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $723,176 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jkm | 63% | 62 |
| #2 | KaPa | 56% | 89 |
| #3 | ArskaaX ツ | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | AutisticPeek | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | Bodyshot Machine | 48% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Taisto | 330 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jkm | 214 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | KaPa | 203 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | JLM | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ArskaaX ツ | 93 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DarK- | +6.57 | 86 | 67 |
| #2 | Jkm | +2.29 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Taisto | -0.89 | 51 | 52 |
| #4 | KaPa | -1.31 | 79 | 60 |
| #5 | ArskaaX ツ | -1.62 | 58 | 73 |





