










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 531 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1228 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1096 | 35% |
| Smokes | 574 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 929 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 509 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,788,448 of utility $306 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Adjust | 39 | 0.0142 |
| #2 | Kobe Ran Out Of Low Grade | 23 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | SubUwU | 17 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | Hashie | 13 | 0.0345 |
| #5 | 傻逼 | 7 | 0.0120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Adjust | 639 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | MentalCuck | 130 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #3 | Kobe Ran Out Of Low Grade | 121 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | SubUwU | 72 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | 傻逼 | 56 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Adjust | +5.77 | 87 | 65 |
| #2 | Hashie | +5.70 | 90 | 40 |
| #3 | SubUwU | +3.47 | 82 | 38 |
| #4 | MentalCuck | +1.74 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | 傻逼 | +1.59 | 78 | 50 |





