








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 732 | 31% |
| Smokes | 464 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 574 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 556 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $380,350 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ESTONIAN mindset | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | Felix | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | Lenkardinho | 43% | 67 |
| #4 | [RS] Gooner | 38% | 39 |
| #5 | Rupert | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ESTONIAN mindset | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | Felix | 50% | 48 |
| #3 | Lenkardinho | 43% | 67 |
| #4 | [RS] Gooner | 38% | 39 |
| #5 | Rupert | 37% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rupert | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Lenkardinho | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | [RS] Gooner | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | ESTONIAN mindset | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ESTONIAN mindset | 250 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #2 | [RS] Gooner | 107 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | Felix | 93 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lenkardinho | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rupert | 47 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ESTONIAN mindset | +3.99 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | [RS] Gooner | +1.22 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | Rupert | +0.50 | 65 | 59 |
| #4 | Kevinmoo | -0.13 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | Felix | -0.46 | 74 | 52 |





