








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 420 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Premier | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7580 | 39% |
| Smokes | 4432 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4224 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3227 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $720,935 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 657 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grey- | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | Cursed | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | Choir ツ | 52% | 29 |
| #4 | Fern | 51% | 63 |
| #5 | Woapalana | 46% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fern | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Woapalana | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Grey- | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | Choir ツ | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | neur0 | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grey- | 140 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | Choir ツ | 99 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | AncientBeast | 88 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Woapalana | 70 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Fern | 65 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fern | +1.27 | 80 | 41 |
| #2 | Choir ツ | +0.99 | 72 | 69 |
| #3 | Grey- | +0.65 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | Jax | +0.51 | 77 | 74 |
| #5 | Cursed | -0.16 | 72 | 67 |





