








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 569 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 203 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7226 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4225 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4363 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3906 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $756,908 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1354 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cowboy | 55% | 40 |
| #2 | vasheeesh | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | FishNuts | 51% | 67 |
| #4 | BuccaSukka | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | Mikey6er | 48% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | BuccaSukka | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | Mikey6er | 48% | 85 |
| #6 | Schizo Fentanyl Enjoyer | 46% | 166 |
| #7 | Paradaisu | 45% | 29 |
| #8 | jLawler | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schizo Fentanyl Enjoyer | 17 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | cowboy | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | BuccaSukka | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Mikey6er | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | vasheeesh | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schizo Fentanyl Enjoyer | 380 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #2 | FishNuts | 155 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Paradaisu | 139 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | BuccaSukka | 124 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | jLawler | 96 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuccaSukka | +1.84 | 77 | 48 |
| #2 | Schizo Fentanyl Enjoyer | +1.32 | 53 | 63 |
| #3 | nicky | +0.98 | 56 | 65 |
| #4 | FishNuts | +0.89 | 72 | 61 |
| #5 | jLawler | +0.74 | 67 | 69 |





