








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 365 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1290 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1319 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1347 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $349,274 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeeJayXXX | 67% | 21 |
| #2 | Mitha_ | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Amazzzz1ng | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | zed | 49% | 108 |
| #5 | dP | 39% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Amazzzz1ng | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | zed | 49% | 108 |
| #5 | dP | 39% | 69 |
| #6 | cataN | 39% | 31 |
| #7 | el niño | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amazzzz1ng | 3 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | zed | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | dP | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | cataN | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Mitha_ | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zed | 269 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | DeeJayXXX | 107 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #3 | dP | 90 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | el niño | 77 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | cataN | 71 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DeeJayXXX | +4.87 | 83 | 79 |
| #2 | zed | +3.56 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | cataN | +2.36 | 83 | 70 |
| #4 | Mitha_ | +1.55 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | dP | -1.16 | 56 | 62 |





