








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 459 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,945 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6606 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4923 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3252 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3164 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,905,980 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3594 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OHMYGOODNESSVALENTINE | 33 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | BettyWhite | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | SqueeZ | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | 🦙WoolyBoi_ThicccSmite🌈 | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | twisto | 5 | 0.0012 |





