








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,123 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2551 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3627 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2704 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2241 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $448,996 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 587 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gustrab | 44 | 0.0282 |
| #2 | JON | 17 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | lemon juice | 13 | 0.0238 |
| #4 | Big | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | jonk666 | 12 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tur-Sama | 481 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | jonk666 | 408 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Big | 283 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Gustrab | 255 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | JON | 252 | 0.16 | 6 min |





