








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 42 | 15% |
| Smokes | 39 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 101 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 93 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $32,756 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whosh | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | PerssOO | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | I've some coal | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | BOT BaNK3r | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Scaddered ッ | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whosh | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | PerssOO | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | I've some coal | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | BOT BaNK3r | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | Scaddered ッ | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BaNK3r | 7 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | Scaddered ッ | 1 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Whosh | 1 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | I've some coal | 1 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | PerssOO | 1 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BaNK3r | 58 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | Scaddered ッ | 26 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | I've some coal | 16 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | PerssOO | 9 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | Whosh | 8 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BaNK3r | +4.08 | 74 | 66 |
| #2 | Whosh | +3.40 | 72 | 50 |
| #3 | Scaddered ッ | +1.00 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | PerssOO | +0.83 | 61 | 48 |
| #5 | Антонотна | -1.23 | 72 | 19 |





