








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 357 | 18% |
| Smokes | 639 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 469 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 510 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $269,565 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scaddered ッ | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Антонотна | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | BOT BaNK3r | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | PerssOO | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | z33b | 50% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | PerssOO | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | z33b | 50% | 4 |
| #6 | Твой отец | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | lil Gassy | 50% | 4 |
| #8 | I've some coal | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BaNK3r | 12 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | Scaddered ッ | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | I've some coal | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Антонотна | 3 | 0.0233 |
| #5 | PerssOO | 2 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BaNK3r | 135 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #2 | Scaddered ッ | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | I've some coal | 43 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | PerssOO | 37 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | lil Gassy | 8 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT BaNK3r | +2.86 | 73 | 66 |
| #2 | z33b | +2.62 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | Whosh | +1.83 | 72 | 50 |
| #4 | Scaddered ッ | +1.70 | 83 | 57 |
| #5 | PerssOO | -0.33 | 82 | 55 |





