








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 867 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1023 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 632 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 954 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,256 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Therese91♥ッ | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | TheVoicesAreInMyHead | 80% | 20 |
| #3 | Flaven | 79% | 24 |
| #4 | ungandi | 79% | 19 |
| #5 | Hindalen | 71% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BB | Kiddinho | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | TheVoicesAreInMyHead | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Rizla | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Mr Reese | 1 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BB | Kiddinho | 92 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Flaven | 92 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | Timber | 76 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | TheVoicesAreInMyHead | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Mr Reese | 36 | 0.18 | 1 min |





