








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 226 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3006 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2394 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3619 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1671 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,839 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 303 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuG | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | Mommy smurf | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Xanax -.- | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuG | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | Mommy smurf | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Xanax -.- | 52% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mommy smurf | 8 | 0.0202 |
| #2 | Xanax -.- | 7 | 0.0158 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuG | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Mommy smurf | 47 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Xanax -.- | 31 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mommy smurf | +2.42 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | Ryuuuuuuk | +0.94 | 58 | 59 |
| #3 | BuG | +0.25 | 61 | 67 |
| #4 | Xanax -.- | -2.23 | 38 | 47 |





