








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 342 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




128 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8569 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3939 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5429 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5582 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3949 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,584,377 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13802 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | 🌭 | 52% | 56 |
| #7 | D: | 48% | 98 |
| #8 | i miss her sm. | 46% | 341 |
| #9 | Topgun Tommy | 44% | 95 |
| #10 | -Neko- | 38% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | i miss her sm. | 291 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #2 | D: | 248 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | boingada | 161 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | IMEI 2 Merchant | 154 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Topgun Tommy | 134 | 0.07 | 3 min |





