








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




65 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 773 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1840 | 50% |
| HE Grenades | 774 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 316 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,132 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | kewta | 33% | 18 |
| #7 | AMagicalPencil | 31% | 26 |
| #8 | moonexe | 30% | 53 |
| #9 | enzo | 28% | 29 |
| #10 | tragicz #pbcc | 15% | 20 |





