








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 974 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3920 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2541 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2527 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1660 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1853 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,123,391 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2309 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devex | 65% | 152 |
| #2 | BigTimeRush | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devex | 65% | 152 |
| #2 | BigTimeRush | 54% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devex | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | BigTimeRush | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devex | 625 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #2 | BigTimeRush | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nAIB | +2.65 | 97 | 61 |
| #2 | BigTimeRush | +1.44 | 83 | 50 |
| #3 | devex | +0.64 | 73 | 70 |





