








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 737 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4565 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3959 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5070 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4656 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,260,796 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1611 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cream soda | 49% | 134 |
| #2 | gigaCeps | 48% | 131 |
| #3 | gat0 | 47% | 392 |
| #4 | WhiteSoSerious | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | [Ger]Flo | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cream soda | 49% | 134 |
| #2 | gigaCeps | 48% | 131 |
| #3 | gat0 | 47% | 392 |
| #4 | WhiteSoSerious | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | [Ger]Flo | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gat0 | 18 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | gigaCeps | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | [Ger]Flo | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Cream soda | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | WhiteSoSerious | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gat0 | 1500 | 0.19 | 43 min |
| #2 | gigaCeps | 400 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | WhiteSoSerious | 229 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cream soda | 223 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | [Ger]Flo | 114 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gigaCeps | +3.49 | 78 | 75 |
| #2 | gat0 | +3.03 | 80 | 78 |
| #3 | [Ger]Flo | +0.35 | 62 | 58 |
| #4 | Cream soda | -0.61 | 51 | 54 |
| #5 | WhiteSoSerious | -0.93 | 58 | 63 |





