








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2490 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2020 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1570 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1904 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,014,180 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ūUpis` | 53% | 60 |
| #2 | PiuPiuTrrPiu | 50% | 22 |
| #3 | .laura | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | Kidlo ✪ | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | MEOW | 47% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MEOW | 6 | 0.0093 |
| #2 | .laura | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Accord | 4 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | ūUpis` | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Cherri | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ūUpis` | 233 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Johnny the BRO | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | MEOW | 149 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Cherri | 134 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | PiuPiuTrrPiu | 96 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ūUpis` | +3.09 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | Cherri | +2.64 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | MEOW | +1.22 | 75 | 49 |
| #4 | TheJanitor | +1.19 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | LES EFX | +0.90 | 79 | 55 |





