








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1190 | 53% |
| Smokes | 33 | 1% |
| HE Grenades | 486 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 537 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $160,258 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capo vM | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | 10GMulti-ModeOpticalSFPModule | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | BPG | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | JP | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Dimitri | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capo vM | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | 10GMulti-ModeOpticalSFPModule | 48% | 25 |
| #3 | BPG | 48% | 63 |
| #4 | JP | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | Dimitri | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BPG | 8 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Capo vM | 4 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | 10GMulti-ModeOpticalSFPModule | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | JP | 4 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Dimitri | 2 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BPG | 122 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | 10GMulti-ModeOpticalSFPModule | 111 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | Dimitri | 75 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | JP | 60 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Capo vM | 45 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dimitri | +3.03 | 69 | 73 |
| #2 | tkzy | +2.91 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | JP | +0.21 | 59 | 30 |
| #4 | Capo vM | -0.11 | 55 | 31 |
| #5 | BPG | -0.14 | 52 | 37 |





