










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 747 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 719 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




285 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,017 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8080 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3046 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 7069 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4822 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,035,900 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 522 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jalucokeb | 56% | 43 |
| #2 | MMorozen | 47% | 135 |
| #3 | Comradezoned | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | itsyassirr | 43% | 128 |
| #5 | Bobo The Walrus | 39% | 374 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobo The Walrus | 208 | 0.0278 |
| #2 | ggeudebo | 60 | 0.0278 |
| #3 | MMorozen | 50 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | Batman | 38 | 0.0117 |
| #5 | itsyassirr | 26 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobo The Walrus | 1372 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | ggeudebo | 832 | 0.39 | 21 min |
| #3 | Batman | 570 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #4 | MMorozen | 257 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | itsyassirr | 230 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bobo The Walrus | +1.43 | 42 | 59 |
| #2 | Batman | +0.84 | 36 | 60 |
| #3 | Bobo The Walrus | +0.47 | 32 | 66 |
| #4 | MMorozen | +0.44 | 28 | 46 |
| #5 | Comradezoned | -0.04 | 26 | 64 |





