








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 751 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1331 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1981 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1666 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $584,461 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 217 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Agr3sivv | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | ✪GRRA✪ | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | Bears like beer G4SKINS | 57% | 69 |
| #4 | Ash | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Szycha-_- | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bears like beer G4SKINS | 57% | 69 |
| #4 | Ash | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Szycha-_- | 54% | 37 |
| #6 | Handy | 53% | 17 |
| #7 | Gordon | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Szycha-_- | 9 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Agr3sivv | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Bears like beer G4SKINS | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Handy | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bears like beer G4SKINS | 152 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #2 | Szycha-_- | 144 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | ✪GRRA✪ | 33 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Agr3sivv | 24 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Ash | 14 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪GRRA✪ | +5.53 | 80 | 55 |
| #2 | Handy | +1.42 | 38 | 41 |
| #3 | Bears like beer G4SKINS | +1.38 | 73 | 69 |
| #4 | Ash | +1.32 | 50 | 39 |
| #5 | 𝗽𝗮𝗸𝗼 | +1.19 | 59 | 37 |





